My life, described in lists of seven.
*Items in lists appear in no particular order. Usually.
WHY THIS BLOG EXISTS
1. I am bored and have run out of other ways to pass the time.
2. Blogs can be fun and distracting.
3. I enjoy making lists because I am somewhat obsessive-compulsive. Lists add structure and order to my life.
4. I’m allowed to do whatever the hell I want, and this is what I want to do.
5. It’s a creative outlet?
6. It will be a challenge, and I’m up for it.
7. Seven is my lucky number.
Knowing 120 people were talking behind my back and having no way to control it.
Turning into a hermit.
Not having a summer job or internship to put on my resume the summer it counts the most.
Having a year-long romantic roller-coaster end in the most disappointing way. Even with his best intentions, that sucked more than he knows.
Losing a best friend because he treated me like a piece of meat. Even though we were able to smooth over the rough edges in the end, things are always going to be different between us because of what happened between us.
I gained a lot of life experience. Being the president to my Chi Omega chapter was not a hobby but a full-time job. I learned that people can be really terrible, but I also learned how to deal with them. My multitasking, interpersonal, and communication skills have increased exponentially, and I see just how much I gained coming out of my term, even though it felt like a never-ending nightmare.
I learned the meaning of a true friend. One of the most important relationships in my life crumbled in my hands. I watched as someone I would do anything to protect tossed me aside and treated me like I was a nobody. And when that happened, I realized just how many people I had surrounding me that did care. One specific person (and you know who you are) helped me through some pretty dark times, and I know for a fact that she will always understand and support me, no matter what the situation or how far apart we are. And when I reconciled the relationship that fell apart, I realized that just because someone doesn’t care about you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t care at all. He didn’t need to wait for me to be ready to talk to him again, but he did.
I learned a lot about myself. Even though my unhealthy amount of introspection should probably be minimized in the coming year, I’ve realized that I’ve had my fair share of being a terrible friend. I’ve had a moment of realization that not everything bad that happens to me is other peoples’ faults; sometimes I was getting what I deserved. (But sometimes it’s still other peoples’ faults.) I’ve learned that I tend to freak out about things that I shouldn’t. It has helped me grow as a person, and even if I don’t always like who I am, I feel that the person I’m becoming has a very promising future.
My grades kept going up! I’m so happy that I was able to keep my academics in line despite the incredible challenges I faced.
I felt heartbreak in the most anti-climactic way imaginable with a boy I liked for a year; I felt heartbreak in the most overly dramatic way imaginable with a boy who has always meant the world to me. And I can say that I know how it feels. And I can say that I got through it.
There were some days when I looked damn good. Feeling positive about my appearance was never something I really focused on, so I never really felt it. But this year was different.
Though it wavered at points, my self-confidence in all respects has definitely increased over the year. I know how capable I am and how much I can do when I put my mind to it. I’m pretty great, if I do say so myself.
Stop dwelling over boys, in all senses. My best friend is really a good guy underneath it all, and eventually someone special will come along who appreciates who I am.LOL WELL THIS IS HILARIOUS. My best friend and I had a bit of a falling out because “underneath it all” he was a pretty shitty person and cared way too much about himself to see the pain he was causing me. But. We’ve reconciled and now we’re okay again. And I never once stopped caring about him. But yeah, dwelling on boys is kind of my thing now. Hopefully something exciting happens in 2013, though.
Continue to do well in school, raise my GPA, and challenge myself academically.Check and check. My GPA is *thiiiis* close to hitting magna cum laude for graduation, but I’m going to have to get a 4.0 this semester to get there.
Be the best President to my Chi Omega chapter that they’ve ever had. HOOT!Pretty sure I wasn’t the best, but I definitely wasn’t the worst. That was quite a year of learning and experiencing. If I did nothing else, I helped recruit our best pledge class ever and helped make the Personnel Board approachable and useful.
Be less dramatic about things that are out of my control. If someone doesn’t care enough to keep me in their life, I have no reason to keep them in mine.See item 1 of this list. Still really dramatic about things out of my control, but I’m learning. And sometimes, just sometimes, people care about you even when you don’t think they do.
Continue to journal. And read books for pleasure. And do artistic things.I’ve gotten lazy about journaling, and I hate that. I’ve started reading books for pleasure again, now that I have the time. I should work on the artistic side.
Waste less time on the internet. (Sorry, tumblr.) I think even at my busiest, I still wasted too much time on the internet. But I hope that changes.
Remember that I’m smart and beautiful and that I can achieve anything if I am determined.Sometimes I don’t believe it, but I know it’s true. This past year was a testament to how strong I really am. I’ve survived the worst semesters of my life; I think I can handle whatever gets thrown at me now.
My family. My mother and father and sister who annoy the heck out of me but who will always be there to support me when I need them. I don’t know how I’ll ever get through life with any of them.
My “family.” The friends who know me inside and out. While those friends have changed over the years (and this year in particular), I cannot express the gratitude I feel when I think of all the people in my life who would drop everything in an instant to lend me a hand. Especially with people falling out of my life who I thought would always be there, it feels nice knowing that people still care.
The one I shouldn’t be thankful for. He has brought me a lot of pain and misery, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving all day today. But regardless of what happens in the future, I’ll always think back on our friendship and how much it helped me grow.
The opportunities I have. Sure, I complain an awful lot about some really unimportant things. But lately I’ve been stepping back and realizing how good I really have it. I’m lucky.
The possibilities for the future. While I want to curl up in a ball and cry whenever I think about graduation and finding a job/career, all that exists for me is pure potentiality. I can do anything and go anywhere, and that’s pretty sweet.
My Big. I wasn’t going to make a separate line for her, but honestly, she deserves it. She has become one of my absolute best friends and has helped me through some very tough times. She understands me. Dare I say we’ve gotten closer since she graduated? Is that possible? She is always a positive force in my life. And I love her. (And I know she’s reading this.)
To be alive. Yes, it’s still corny, but yes, it’s still true. Having a bad day is okay because it means that I’m still around to have it. Allow me a minute of existential crisis: Lately, I feel my youth slipping away from me, and the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that I still have a chance to live. So live, and be merry, and enjoy what you have.
Spending four months in France and living with an amazing host family while there.
Being slated president of my sorority, even though I was abroad and even though nobody in the new pledge class knows me at all!
Learning to put certain things and people behind me. I’ve definitely become a much more mature person, and I realize now that there are things out of our control that will only destroy us if we can’t move on.
Getting a beautiful DSLR camera and becoming inspired to be more artistic and creative.
Becoming much more self-confident and independent.
Having a really great (though unpaid, and at times, boring) internship with an environmental organization that taught me leadership techniques.
Making so many new friends and knowing that I have a good support system, should I ever need it.
Get me a boyfriend. That one guy on my mind would be nice :)That didn’t happen, and the other one I had my eye on doesn’t seem to be a possibility for next semester either. But that’s okay.
Continue to do well in school - and raise my GPA so Latin Honors are a possibility. Brought up my GPA during the spring semester, but I still don’t know my grades from this fall.
Have an amazing and enriching experience abroad in France.I’d say that was a success.
Stop dwelling on the past, thinking about missed chances, and wishing things were different. Take advantage of the opportunities I have in the present. I’ve been working on this one, and I think I’ve come a long way. Much more emotionally mature, even despite a whole bunch of bullshit that happened. Or because of it?
Continue to keep a journal and this tumblr. Journal = absolutely. This tumblr = slightly less. But my other tumblr = yes.
Get closer to the people I love, and don’t forget to remind them how much they mean to me. Living abroad has definitely helped me hold on to the important relationships and let the other ones go. I know who cares about me, and that’s what I need to remember.
Remember that I’m smart and beautiful and that I can achieve anything if I am determined. Trying my best!